i have a feeling..

and that feeling is well ouch!! i am now the proud owner of a box cut on my pointer finger. In the exact spot that i happen to type with! New boxes are mean! Okay that really isn't what i wanna write about. And i re read my last post and realized people kinda suck and that seems to be my topic again. So bear(no pun intended) with me. And I'm pretty sure somebody, somewhere reading this may be able to relate. Have you ever noticed how some people seriously get all the breaks? I mean karma is their best friend!?Even when something bad happens they still end up good. Now I'm not saying i haven't been fortunate. Id like to think someday my hard work will pay off and i believe it will. I also think it wont happen over night and that's the part that doesn't make sense. Why does it take time for me and some people boom over night success. Not neccesarly money or fame but breaks. I know plenty of people who have poof up and quit the job they were at just because. Yeah no reason. But..they land on their foot while holding the drink they have in their hand. Not spilling a single drop! I love my job and have no plans of going anywhere. (even at 118 am my phone goes off) Its a good job close to home and i enjoy it. I have a plan and hopefully it'll play out how i hope. But in order for that I'm gonna have to play by the rules.
  Meanwhile Mr horseshoe hasn't a care nor worry in the world because he seemingly is carefree. Maybe hes just really good at covering it up. I mean come on can anybody really be that lucky? Or have the breaks continue to fall into place for him? Most of the time i wear my heart on my sleeve. Defiantly a bad thing. Especially when i have alot of worries roaming freely in my head, Makes for a long day. Meanwhile Mr. horsehoe just got a new car. while being jobless. Maybe unemployment is paying better than i thought these days, Nope still not interested. I still wanna work for all my stuff. I really wanna believe that the hard work will pay off. It will right?? Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Or not working hard enough. I know i want it bad enough.Perhaps the horseshoe people in this world figured it out faster and i wouldn't doubt that. I have to find things out the hard way most of the time. And attempt to learn how to be better and not repeat my history. Maybe my break is coming soon. Maybe its already here in the form of my job. A blessing that i received almost 5 years ago. Like a foundation set in place and I'm building up towards it. Yeah i like that. I just found the light right here in front of all of you. The foundation has been set and everyday I'm working towards that goal and many others. Maybe what I've failed to see and realize is i am Mr. horseshoe. Despite many let downs and misfornate events through all the hard ships i have already started a foundation. so here's to the next step to fulfilling my destiny of the next Mr horseshoe!! Salute!

* disclaimer there isn't really a Mr horseshoe. in this blog he is a fictitious character straight outta my mind. Although some people really do have all the luck. Thanks for reading another note from the Bears den

Maybe

Maybe someday ill get what i want. Maybe someday ill be happy. Maybe someday youll see me in the light i truly stand in. See that im not perfect nor do i pretend to be. That's the thing this is me. No pretending. Maybe someday when you relize it youll come back. And maybe someday i will get the one thing i want. Thought i was close so close. But still too far outta reach. I sit here and you catch up with me. I still havent out ran these memories we created. Maybe someday i will. I just wanna belong. Completely belong. Maybe someday this will happen. Until then ill keep hoping for my someday....

Break...

Sometimes people just need a break. An escape. From whatever it maybe. Not fir any bad reason just because its needed. I almost think I'm at that point. I'm fatigued. All I do anymore is think over and over. I don't even know. I just want to get away. Just go where I can be free of this area. Just to catch my breath. And I dint really know why. Work isn't a grind in fact were slow so gonna be flue all year unless a miracle happens. I don't know if it's possible but o may have overloaded myself mentally. Physically I feel alright watched maybe I just need a change. Something different a new distracting in life