Getting to know Erik Abbey..
How are you tonight? I'm good.
How was your day? um it was pretty nice. Got my headlights then came over here and hung out with you all day.
what are you doing over the 4th? you know what( yawning) i don't know probably watching the fireworks somewhere..probably having a beer. maybe two beers. maybe three beers and a shot of tequila no i don't like tequila
what did you want to be when you grew up?um..a professinal wrestler.
what was your ring name gonna be? i bhad a couple of the, I was gonna be the arc angel. and then i was gonna be and i stole this from Savio Vega i was gonna be Lord Vega. I wanted to be the guy that brought the Undertaker back to his dark side image. The American bad ass.
Why a wrestler?Why not?
Question with a question. It was. The only thing i really wanted to be. Thanks to Hulk Hogan and of course *breaks out his macho man voice* the Macho Man Randy Savage oh yeah!! and the Undertaker too.
What stopped you?uh, the fact that i wasn't driven enough. The fact that i concentrated on other things...like girls.
Girls aren't a bad thing though. No their a distraction. Especially when they are the types that hold you back and don't help you achieve your dreams.
You ever think about going to FCW? um. no.I'm not in shape enough to waste their time or my money.
Would you be a singles competitor or tag team? um. I think i coulkdve done either or, I think i would've been better as a tag team member. Not in today's setting but back in the mid 2000s.
what would your theme song be?ummmm..i don't really know.
WCW WWF or ECW? well the final stop i would've wanted would be WWF. But i would've taken tghe Chris Jericho route and toured japan and Mexico because with all that experience it would make you a better performer. I mean god Jericho could have a match with gillberg and have a 3 star match. Hell he made Goldberg look good.
You have creative control over your character. What do you do with him? well clearly i make myself wwe champion after marrying into the family. he he. its not what i would do its what i wouldn't do.
What wouldn't you do? um, well the point of having creative control is so they cant make you look like a doofus. like Ala Bret Hart how he didn't do things that would jeopardize his legacy or his character.
So you wouldn't join the infamous "kiss my ass club?" no. if anything id turn it around on him like*in Vince McMahon voice*Triple H!
Heel or Face? id probably go with heel. I'm sure i would've bounced back and forth but, i would've wanted to start a heel. Id love to have been like Mark Henry and call everybody puppets. "Mark Henry voice" Y'all a bunch of puppets!
Lets do WWF word association.
Vince McMahon- creative genius. But, maybe losing touch with reality
Triple H- Luckiest son of a bitch!!
Hulk Hogan- Probably the best thing to happen to the business in the 1980s
Bret Hart- the best there is, the best there was the best there ever will be. truly the excellence of execution.
Macho Man Randy Savage- probably one of the best characters ever, hes brought alot of joy to our lives. *if you all only knew*
Shawn Michael's- probably one of the best party guys ever, until he found d Jesus
CM Punk- um, an inspiration. He showed me speaking your mind gets you a wwe championship!
The death of Chris Benoit- A horribly tragic event that lead to the crappy PG stuff we have today
Change one thing about today's product-just one?!? how fake and scripted it is. how theres no um, ayyemp at keeping it realistic., no attempt at keeping heels and faces separate.
You re a wrestler. Would you take a performance enhancing drug-no. if i cant achieve it myself i don't want it
Not even for more money and fame? nope.
deeper stuff
What do you regret the most? not taking advantage of certain opportunities that were place in front of me. involving things that were given to me . time my mind things that would've helped me lose weight.
What made you change your mind about the surgery? um, i saw that other people that ent through it had complications and other people that had it it didn't stick. Its a tool like anything else to help you lose weight.
I'm glad you didn't do it-
Do you ever feel like your being held down? yup. damn Bret Hart!!
If you could change just one thing what would it be? my will power. i could say what i look ;like. i could say my weight but, without will power it wouldn't stay.
If you could go back and tell yourself something at age 12 what would it be? regulate your diet and believe in yourself.
I think you'd be a good mentor for kids. you think i would be? yes, why thank you!
What advice would you give to your sister? Hahaha, um, well obviously to believe in herself and not be so gullible.
Good vs Evil who's side do you choose? i choose my own side. cause to choose one you'd have to believe one is stronger than the other
Who do you miss? who do i miss? my grandmother. i really don't habe any other people to miss.* sorry Malone*
If you could marry any celebrity who would it be? ohhhi would probably marry AJLee.
5 things on you re bucket list? 1. become sussecful 2. go to NYC and sleep with a model 3. go to Cali sleep with a movie star 4. meet the undertaker 5. have a kid
where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? i dunno. hopefully thinner thanks to @DDPYoga and #Insanity and in college for real this time.
do you like anybody?No not right now.
What is your favorite memory of us? probably the road trips to Virginia regardless how it all turned out.
why did you delete me? *laughs* i was beating you to the punch.
i was just kidding around! Its all good!
Favorites
drink? coffee
food? spaghetti
day? Tuesday
month? December
color? blue
snack? banana chips
eye color? blue or green
hair color? dark. black, brunette
sport? football
movie? i don't really have a favorite movie.
song? eye of the tiger-survivor
athlete? i don't think per say i have a favorite athlete
past time? video games @Eros_helios69 on the PSN
day or night? night
Whats something most don't know about you? i enjoy classical music
what do you want your message to be? no matter what it is question everything
was 9/11 a conspiracy? i dont kno but, it sure as hell is suspicious
what are they hiding? the truth
what are you talented at? driving!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Game 3 VS Seattle
With the Yankees playing on the West Coast it means Saturdays game started at about 4:00 pm East Coast time. I was interested in seeing how we would overcome yesterdays defeat. Andy Pettitte was on the mound which normally means good things for us. Although this year he has been struggling a bit. Coming into the game he was 4 and 3 coming of a stint on the disabled list. I always always try to watch him pitch. Hes one of my favorites and I love the glare over the glove. In fact I use the glare when I'm bowling! I glare at the pins. GRRR watch out pins!!! Although Andy has struggled throughout his career against Seattle. At 12-13 the M's are the only American league team he has a losing record against. Saturday was different He looked focused. Waiting on every batter to step in the batters box on every pitch. And early on he was dealing. Getting a lot of ground outs. Andy's final line was 7 1/3 inning pitched gave up only 3 hits and the lone run of the game for the Mariners. He had 6 strikeouts. It was a historic day for Andy earning his 250th career win. 213 with the Yankees. Sadly, though I don't think he will reach the magic number of 300.
Offensively the Yankees scored in the first inning like they did in Fridays game. Second baseman Robinson Cano drove in the games first run when he drove Mark Teixera in. Cano now has 40 RBIs on the season. In the fourth inning Seattle got on the board. The Yankees quickly answered in the top of the fifth when Jayson Nix drove in the first of two RBIs on the day. Brett Gardner had two doubles on the day and was 3 for 5. The Yankees left a lot of guys on base. I think at my last count there were at least 8. In Fridays game I made note we were just missing pitches. Today though we were making better contact. Vernon Wells who had been struggling the past few games had 2 hits. Maybe hes starting to find his groove. On another note. The Seattle crowd gave a standing ovation to their rookie catcher Bantz it was his first career at bat in the bigs. He struck out going 0-2.
The score was 3-1 going into the 9th after David Robertson made the 8th a little interesting. The 9 that means one man. Mariano Rivera. Hes having a solid year blowing one save which came against the Mets. Rivera faced 5 batters and the Mariners had 1st and 2nd with one out. Rivera struck out the side to save his 22 on the year. Rivera has 36 saves VS the M's. I don't know if I will be able to do a Yankees recap tomorrow. NASCAR is on at about the same time. Although maybe ill record the gamegame and watch
Offensively the Yankees scored in the first inning like they did in Fridays game. Second baseman Robinson Cano drove in the games first run when he drove Mark Teixera in. Cano now has 40 RBIs on the season. In the fourth inning Seattle got on the board. The Yankees quickly answered in the top of the fifth when Jayson Nix drove in the first of two RBIs on the day. Brett Gardner had two doubles on the day and was 3 for 5. The Yankees left a lot of guys on base. I think at my last count there were at least 8. In Fridays game I made note we were just missing pitches. Today though we were making better contact. Vernon Wells who had been struggling the past few games had 2 hits. Maybe hes starting to find his groove. On another note. The Seattle crowd gave a standing ovation to their rookie catcher Bantz it was his first career at bat in the bigs. He struck out going 0-2.
The score was 3-1 going into the 9th after David Robertson made the 8th a little interesting. The 9 that means one man. Mariano Rivera. Hes having a solid year blowing one save which came against the Mets. Rivera faced 5 batters and the Mariners had 1st and 2nd with one out. Rivera struck out the side to save his 22 on the year. Rivera has 36 saves VS the M's. I don't know if I will be able to do a Yankees recap tomorrow. NASCAR is on at about the same time. Although maybe ill record the gamegame and watch
Game 2 vs Seattle
This is just an experiment!!!I don't even know how to start this! These are based on my notes from the game. Riding a four game win streak which saw the Yankees sweep the Indians and put up a 6 run 3rd inning in the previous nights game the Yankees looked to keep the streak alive. Hiroki Kuroda verses Jeremy Bonderman. Both pitchers were entering the game with high ERAs. Bonderman was lite up by the Twins in his first start of the season and Kuroda didn't have a decision in his previous three starts. Entering the game New York was 25-3 when they scored first.
The game started off fast for the Yanks when Brett Gardner smacked the ball to the outfield and with his blazing speed he ended up with a double. Cano drew a walk and Bonderman hadn't thrown a strike yet! But, given this was his second game coming off two separate injuries one of which was Tommy John surgery it was understandable. The Yanks scored first when Travis Hafner knocked in his 29th RBI of the season giving the Yankees the lead. Watching this game brought back memories of watching "The Kid" Ken Griffey Jr. play. Back in the mid to late 90's. As I sat here watching it seemed to me we were just missing some pitches. Both pitchers were throwing a lot of pitches. We just couldn't connect the way we needed too. Early on Kuroda was dealing. His pitch count into the 4th inning was 66. that seems kind of high to me. There was an interesting question posed on the YES network...Which four hitters would you put on the Mount Rushmore of baseball? TOUGH!!!! I went with Derek Jeter, Ted Williams, Mickey Mantle and Ken Griffey Jr. Although Griffey Jr was plagued by injuries I still think he was naturally talented. Seattle's big inning came in the 4th. 6 straight batters reached base and Kuroda would be gotten out quicker had a ground ball not hit 2nd base causing it to bounce up into the air and away from.. Cano I believe. Seattle had bases loaded twice in that inning. So we were fortunate to get out only down 4-1.
The announcers kept saying if the M's bullpen get into the game maybe we could muster some opportunities. Bonderman was cruising. At one stretch in the game he had retired 9 in a row!! He ended the game having thrown 96 pitches through 6 innings. His final line was 6 IP{ innings pitched} 1 earned run, giving up 3 hits and walking one batter back in the 1st. Great performance! Meanwhile, Kuroda was settling down and although he had given up the 4 runs we were still in the game..Kurodas pitch count was at 110
The game started off fast for the Yanks when Brett Gardner smacked the ball to the outfield and with his blazing speed he ended up with a double. Cano drew a walk and Bonderman hadn't thrown a strike yet! But, given this was his second game coming off two separate injuries one of which was Tommy John surgery it was understandable. The Yanks scored first when Travis Hafner knocked in his 29th RBI of the season giving the Yankees the lead. Watching this game brought back memories of watching "The Kid" Ken Griffey Jr. play. Back in the mid to late 90's. As I sat here watching it seemed to me we were just missing some pitches. Both pitchers were throwing a lot of pitches. We just couldn't connect the way we needed too. Early on Kuroda was dealing. His pitch count into the 4th inning was 66. that seems kind of high to me. There was an interesting question posed on the YES network...Which four hitters would you put on the Mount Rushmore of baseball? TOUGH!!!! I went with Derek Jeter, Ted Williams, Mickey Mantle and Ken Griffey Jr. Although Griffey Jr was plagued by injuries I still think he was naturally talented. Seattle's big inning came in the 4th. 6 straight batters reached base and Kuroda would be gotten out quicker had a ground ball not hit 2nd base causing it to bounce up into the air and away from.. Cano I believe. Seattle had bases loaded twice in that inning. So we were fortunate to get out only down 4-1.
The announcers kept saying if the M's bullpen get into the game maybe we could muster some opportunities. Bonderman was cruising. At one stretch in the game he had retired 9 in a row!! He ended the game having thrown 96 pitches through 6 innings. His final line was 6 IP{ innings pitched} 1 earned run, giving up 3 hits and walking one batter back in the 1st. Great performance! Meanwhile, Kuroda was settling down and although he had given up the 4 runs we were still in the game..Kurodas pitch count was at 110
a new idea...
Hello Everybody! Yikes! Its been awhile! Go ahead and yell at me. I deserve it. Theres really no rhyme or reason as to why I haven't posted in over a month. Especially because work is slower than a snails crawl. I'm sitting in the middle of a four day weekend and rainy weather so its not like I'm busy.
So I've been toying with an idea. No its not original. Ive been thinking a lot lately about starting my own sports page on Facebook and my own sports blog page on here as well. Id mainly cover NASCAR, Yankees games, Bills games and WWE. Although I've thought about asking Eros if he'd like to do some wrestling post. Like post Raw and Smackdown. And pay-per-views. I'm not really sure where to start though. Plus working second shift makes it kind of hard to get home at 1 am and stay awake for a three and a half hour baseball game. It'd be a cool idea though. Post opinions and possibly video highlights. I dunno though it'll be a huge undertaking. Just on last nights game alone I had 3 plus pages of notes!!! Maybe ill post a blog after this one as an experiment and see if I like it. Anyways that's my idea. Like I said not original but id be something id like to do because I love sports! And man ill tell ya..I love the YES network!!! Its the only reason I switched to DIRECTV and its worth every penny. Alright, I know this is short but, I'm gonna post another blog about last nights game... Thanks for reading and any feed back would be great!!!
So I've been toying with an idea. No its not original. Ive been thinking a lot lately about starting my own sports page on Facebook and my own sports blog page on here as well. Id mainly cover NASCAR, Yankees games, Bills games and WWE. Although I've thought about asking Eros if he'd like to do some wrestling post. Like post Raw and Smackdown. And pay-per-views. I'm not really sure where to start though. Plus working second shift makes it kind of hard to get home at 1 am and stay awake for a three and a half hour baseball game. It'd be a cool idea though. Post opinions and possibly video highlights. I dunno though it'll be a huge undertaking. Just on last nights game alone I had 3 plus pages of notes!!! Maybe ill post a blog after this one as an experiment and see if I like it. Anyways that's my idea. Like I said not original but id be something id like to do because I love sports! And man ill tell ya..I love the YES network!!! Its the only reason I switched to DIRECTV and its worth every penny. Alright, I know this is short but, I'm gonna post another blog about last nights game... Thanks for reading and any feed back would be great!!!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
A note for my Mom
So here we are Mothers day again. This will mark the 19th year Ive done this. Its a very bittersweet day for me. On one hand I'm grateful to have the memories of my Mom. I cherish them and hold them near and dear to my heart. Then on the other hand id give anything to be living somewhere and come back home to take her out to breakfast and spend the day with her. Then again to be honest I'm pretty sure i wouldn't be far away from home. This day and the month of June are difficult but i know both my Mom and Dad would yell at me for feeling sad. So ill wear a smile and it may or may not be real!!! It doesnt ever get easier but everyday i learn a new way to cope.
What can i possibly say about my Mom? If you had the pleasure of meeting her then you know how great she was. There aren't any words i can use to explain her. She was just awesome. After school we would play basketball or throw the baseball or football. We use to watch scrabble after school too. Heck, she even would play video games with me. Mostly Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy. I always find myself wondering how different my life would be if she were still here. I know damn well i wouldve done alot better in school. That was a must!! Every spring i see the flowers in bloom and i think of her. That's the kind of woman she was. Beautiful. Loving and caring. Id always have a friend spend the night on Fridays and most of the time Saturdays too.
Theres not a day that doesn't go by i don't think about her even if just once. As a kid thunderstorms use to scare me and i was always scared that we would have a tornado. I don't know why but it was a fear of mine growing up. So every night there was a storm she would lay with me until i fell asleep. Always telling me we would be okay and nothing would happen. And well she was right. LOL!!!She always told me "I'm your Mother and Mothers know best!" Any Moms out there feel free to use that line! Man, it use to frustrate me! Nowadays i just smile and shake my head. She was right, Mothers do know best. Its funny the little things i remember. Her and i were standing in the kitchen when she told me Santa wasn't real. I didn't cry i think i told her i knew and she asked how i knew and i said i dunno i just had a feeling. LOL!!! "You are my sunshine" was the song she always would sing to me! Our house is yellow because that is her favorite color and well that's why its my favorite color too. Plus the sun is yellow and well the sun makes everyone happy.
Sometimes this life isn't fair. Questions that ill always have. Someday ill get answers. Someday ill see my Mom again and it ll be one of the reunions I've waited so long for. Shes one of my guardian angels and although i may not be able to see her. I can feel her and i know shes by my side as she has always been. So Happy Mothers Day to the worlds greatest Mom! I may not of had you in my life for a long time but the time i had i cherished! You taught me so many things through the years and i know you are guiding me through life. I Love you and miss you everyday. Thank you for being my Mom i couldn't have asked for a better Mom than the one i have!! Love always your sunshine <3
I really wish she were still here.
What can i possibly say about my Mom? If you had the pleasure of meeting her then you know how great she was. There aren't any words i can use to explain her. She was just awesome. After school we would play basketball or throw the baseball or football. We use to watch scrabble after school too. Heck, she even would play video games with me. Mostly Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy. I always find myself wondering how different my life would be if she were still here. I know damn well i wouldve done alot better in school. That was a must!! Every spring i see the flowers in bloom and i think of her. That's the kind of woman she was. Beautiful. Loving and caring. Id always have a friend spend the night on Fridays and most of the time Saturdays too.
Theres not a day that doesn't go by i don't think about her even if just once. As a kid thunderstorms use to scare me and i was always scared that we would have a tornado. I don't know why but it was a fear of mine growing up. So every night there was a storm she would lay with me until i fell asleep. Always telling me we would be okay and nothing would happen. And well she was right. LOL!!!She always told me "I'm your Mother and Mothers know best!" Any Moms out there feel free to use that line! Man, it use to frustrate me! Nowadays i just smile and shake my head. She was right, Mothers do know best. Its funny the little things i remember. Her and i were standing in the kitchen when she told me Santa wasn't real. I didn't cry i think i told her i knew and she asked how i knew and i said i dunno i just had a feeling. LOL!!! "You are my sunshine" was the song she always would sing to me! Our house is yellow because that is her favorite color and well that's why its my favorite color too. Plus the sun is yellow and well the sun makes everyone happy.
Sometimes this life isn't fair. Questions that ill always have. Someday ill get answers. Someday ill see my Mom again and it ll be one of the reunions I've waited so long for. Shes one of my guardian angels and although i may not be able to see her. I can feel her and i know shes by my side as she has always been. So Happy Mothers Day to the worlds greatest Mom! I may not of had you in my life for a long time but the time i had i cherished! You taught me so many things through the years and i know you are guiding me through life. I Love you and miss you everyday. Thank you for being my Mom i couldn't have asked for a better Mom than the one i have!! Love always your sunshine <3
I really wish she were still here.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
what creates us?
Hey everybody!! Hows every ones week going? Its the early hour's of Thursday and after fighting with Google about my password I'm finally attempting to put this blog, that has been in my head, on the screen and into a form that makes sense.
Have you wondered what makes us, well us? How did we become the people we are today? What part of your path if changed would have made you different? How can a person change who they are? I mean yes we can lose weight and become "a new person" but, that's not the person on the inside. So the outside will look different but would the person inside change? A person would probably be more confident in themselves. But, where does the motivation come from? And once found how can we stay motivated? And man! It takes alot to change how a person looks!! You have to eat right and exercise properly and it really takes an awful lot of work. And who can resist yummy brownies or cookies.(sorry about that) We live in a world where its all about convience. That's why theres a fast food chain on virtually every corner. Or premaid subs in stores. The list can go on and on. And if i keep going ill lose my blog.
Back to the main subject. What makes a person who they have become? Why are some people so nice and yet other people are so heartless. What has created it? When we are born we aren't born good or evil its created from the events in our lives right? From the boy/girl friend that hurt us or the best friend who turned out to be fake. But, why are some people able to rise above it all and still be a good person? Why is a good person turned bad? We are all taught right from wrong. So how come some choose wrong over right? Has life been that hard that they don't feel they have a choice? We all have a choice though. We choose our words, our actions. We create our own path in life. Why do people still choose to sit around and do absolutely nothing with the life they have been given? Famous athletes getting busted for stupid stuff. Gun possession. Drugs etc.. Why? You are doing something few of us get the chance too and yet you choice to make bad decisions. I tell you this if i was an athlete you'd never hear bad press about me. But, then again it goes back to the path we choose. What causes a good person to make that bad decision? I dont think people act without thinking. Everything we do comes from a thought. Theres no way around it. Even if not planned its still a thought process that makes us do things.
Why do we settle? I don't mean as in marriage. I mean in life. We get comfortable in a place and its a safe feeling. It scares us to step out of our comfort zone. But what causes it? Obviously we all cant go to the same place or do the same thing but what causes people to excel? Is there a part of us that "dies" inside? Is this the cause for the way we are? why am i asking so many damn questions??? Just a bunch of thoughts that have been in my mind as of late. maybe its all about who you know. But even if that's the case. A person has to be the start of the chain right? So lets say i wanted to make a change. A drastic life changing event. Where would i start? I've said this in a blog before but its not like a person can wake up and have a clean start. So, how can i make the change? Wheres the starting line I'm looking for? Even with a Small change its a start but, how can i keep myself or know the path is the right one..Theres a bigger plan out there and i may not see it but it'll show itself eventually.
Alright im done asking so many questions. I dont really know if any of this makes sense but hey i tried
Have you wondered what makes us, well us? How did we become the people we are today? What part of your path if changed would have made you different? How can a person change who they are? I mean yes we can lose weight and become "a new person" but, that's not the person on the inside. So the outside will look different but would the person inside change? A person would probably be more confident in themselves. But, where does the motivation come from? And once found how can we stay motivated? And man! It takes alot to change how a person looks!! You have to eat right and exercise properly and it really takes an awful lot of work. And who can resist yummy brownies or cookies.(sorry about that) We live in a world where its all about convience. That's why theres a fast food chain on virtually every corner. Or premaid subs in stores. The list can go on and on. And if i keep going ill lose my blog.
Back to the main subject. What makes a person who they have become? Why are some people so nice and yet other people are so heartless. What has created it? When we are born we aren't born good or evil its created from the events in our lives right? From the boy/girl friend that hurt us or the best friend who turned out to be fake. But, why are some people able to rise above it all and still be a good person? Why is a good person turned bad? We are all taught right from wrong. So how come some choose wrong over right? Has life been that hard that they don't feel they have a choice? We all have a choice though. We choose our words, our actions. We create our own path in life. Why do people still choose to sit around and do absolutely nothing with the life they have been given? Famous athletes getting busted for stupid stuff. Gun possession. Drugs etc.. Why? You are doing something few of us get the chance too and yet you choice to make bad decisions. I tell you this if i was an athlete you'd never hear bad press about me. But, then again it goes back to the path we choose. What causes a good person to make that bad decision? I dont think people act without thinking. Everything we do comes from a thought. Theres no way around it. Even if not planned its still a thought process that makes us do things.
Why do we settle? I don't mean as in marriage. I mean in life. We get comfortable in a place and its a safe feeling. It scares us to step out of our comfort zone. But what causes it? Obviously we all cant go to the same place or do the same thing but what causes people to excel? Is there a part of us that "dies" inside? Is this the cause for the way we are? why am i asking so many damn questions??? Just a bunch of thoughts that have been in my mind as of late. maybe its all about who you know. But even if that's the case. A person has to be the start of the chain right? So lets say i wanted to make a change. A drastic life changing event. Where would i start? I've said this in a blog before but its not like a person can wake up and have a clean start. So, how can i make the change? Wheres the starting line I'm looking for? Even with a Small change its a start but, how can i keep myself or know the path is the right one..Theres a bigger plan out there and i may not see it but it'll show itself eventually.
Alright im done asking so many questions. I dont really know if any of this makes sense but hey i tried
Monday, February 18, 2013
Have you ever...
I don't know whats wrong with me.I have had the hardest time sleeping lately. Although Sunday night wasn't too bad. Saturday night was off and on but, i kept having weird dreams and they woke me up. I'm not sure if i remember them well, maybe bits and pieces. Nothing really specific though. Then I keep having this feeling that something bad is gonna happen. and i don't know what it is. But, i can literally feel something that's how real it seems. Ive had this feeling before but nothing came of it its just really strange. I don't know maybe my mind is just on overload lately and its making me delusional.
Part of me just wants to scream at the top of my lungs and the other part wants to hide in a corner and disappear,.All at the same time wondering why i don't feel good enough for anybody. I try and go out of my way for people and all i get is crapped on. I mean a guy can only take so much before he reaches a breaking point/. I was forced into a corner and had to make a really tough decision but it shouldn't have even happened. I'm to nice. Maybe that's my problem. But even if i become the douche bag that some people are what does it accomplish? Its not gonna put me in any better of a situation. It wont make people flock to me. Instead of saying "thank you" the next time someone holds the door open for me i should say "fuck you!" Then that brings me to my point. What does that accomplish? Nothing that i can think of.
Maybe I'm to simple of a guy. I mean come on if you know me then you know me. Theres no smoking screens. No hidden messages or agendas. I am simply me. Nothing fancy. Black and white. Boring. So how do i change that? Ive never tried to impress anybody. Why should i have too? Put up a fake persona to woo people? No thanks in my book that's fake. I'm not fake. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Someday if you try hard enough I'm pretty readable. Other days i build a front that you cant figure out. Nothing intentional its just the way i am. Maybe you can tell me whats wrong with me. Who am i kidding.? You're a computer screen you cant talk back to me unless i type my own response. "Yes I'm just a computer screen...sir.." \point taken.
I'm really just rambling in this blog. Maybe theres meaning behind it and there probably is and no i wont end up telling anybody because that's the beauty of it. You should take the time to know and really understand me. Theres always meaning behind my words its up to you to find them. I know you aren't gonna take the time too because lets be honest you really don't care. Just as long as i don't do anything that ll interfere in your life. And don't worry i wont. I have my own problems to deal with and work out but ill say this.. Ill be the bestest friend you've ever had. Just don't ruin it. Who am i kidding you probably already have. * kicks at a rock*
My thoughts are all over the place but they always end up in the same place. With her. I love her with all i have. I really wish things were different. Maybe someday ill get what i want. Ill just do what i always do and that's simple. Ill just keep trying because that's all i know how to do. Someday, yes someday ill finally get what i deserve ....
Part of me just wants to scream at the top of my lungs and the other part wants to hide in a corner and disappear,.All at the same time wondering why i don't feel good enough for anybody. I try and go out of my way for people and all i get is crapped on. I mean a guy can only take so much before he reaches a breaking point/. I was forced into a corner and had to make a really tough decision but it shouldn't have even happened. I'm to nice. Maybe that's my problem. But even if i become the douche bag that some people are what does it accomplish? Its not gonna put me in any better of a situation. It wont make people flock to me. Instead of saying "thank you" the next time someone holds the door open for me i should say "fuck you!" Then that brings me to my point. What does that accomplish? Nothing that i can think of.
Maybe I'm to simple of a guy. I mean come on if you know me then you know me. Theres no smoking screens. No hidden messages or agendas. I am simply me. Nothing fancy. Black and white. Boring. So how do i change that? Ive never tried to impress anybody. Why should i have too? Put up a fake persona to woo people? No thanks in my book that's fake. I'm not fake. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Someday if you try hard enough I'm pretty readable. Other days i build a front that you cant figure out. Nothing intentional its just the way i am. Maybe you can tell me whats wrong with me. Who am i kidding.? You're a computer screen you cant talk back to me unless i type my own response. "Yes I'm just a computer screen...sir.." \point taken.
I'm really just rambling in this blog. Maybe theres meaning behind it and there probably is and no i wont end up telling anybody because that's the beauty of it. You should take the time to know and really understand me. Theres always meaning behind my words its up to you to find them. I know you aren't gonna take the time too because lets be honest you really don't care. Just as long as i don't do anything that ll interfere in your life. And don't worry i wont. I have my own problems to deal with and work out but ill say this.. Ill be the bestest friend you've ever had. Just don't ruin it. Who am i kidding you probably already have. * kicks at a rock*
My thoughts are all over the place but they always end up in the same place. With her. I love her with all i have. I really wish things were different. Maybe someday ill get what i want. Ill just do what i always do and that's simple. Ill just keep trying because that's all i know how to do. Someday, yes someday ill finally get what i deserve ....
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